I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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