Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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