Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
