i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
