i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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