is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
