He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
