Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
