i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
