I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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