this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
