he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
