I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize