if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize