How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
