I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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