So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
