THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
