problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
