pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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