ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
