hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
