I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
