Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
