i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Alive.
So much puke
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Text me some of your sweat
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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