I just cut my nipple shaving
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
