I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I have fence marks all over my body
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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