I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My bed smells like the plague
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
