just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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