I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
