you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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