I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
