you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
