Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize