you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
