I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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