oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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