It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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