She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
