she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
