It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
