I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
this just has baby written all over it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
