So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
