She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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