The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
