I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
