You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
