hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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