I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
