Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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