blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
