wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
being pregnant is like rehab
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize