Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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