I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
