Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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