i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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