So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize