i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
