Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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