Soap is not a condiment
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The beer is more important than you right now.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
