So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
