I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
